He was my age. Young, in the late 20’s of his life, when he passed away. It happened so fast and everything was kind of a whirlwind until the week after the funeral. His mom and I had become fast friends, and so there we sat, on my front porch. There was noise everywhere around us, but silence with in our hearts. She sat with tear stained eyes and a heavy sadness that only a mother who has out lived a child can know, and she said to me, “Why? Why did this happen?”

I wish I knew the true answer. I wish I had all the wisdom in the world………..

People always tell me that I know just what to say or that I am old beyond my years, that I can read people, and some don’t like me to look right into their eyes, so I stopped. I realized the other day, that many times in the middle of my talking, I just look away…..out the window, at the floor, at the wall…..because people said I made them uncomfortable and I let it change me.

I am the way I am, see the world the way I do, for only one reason……..it’s no big secret….nothing that can’t happen to others. Growing up I saw, sensed,and witness coldness in other people. Anger, strife, and bitterness toward those they should love……and so in my little child like heart, I said, “I will never close off my heart, I will take it all as it comes, hurt, pain, love, and I will cherish it all the same because I never want to be cold, hard, or bitter.”

And so for me life was a little odd. Different. Weird. Or I should say most people see me this way, because of the way I see the world and others in it. Oh I still get mad like everyone else. Fighting mad. Hey, I’m part Irish, it’s a given. But it doesn’t last long and then I forgive. I love people, cherish hope, adore peace, and I love, love. Some people see me as air headed, not living in reality. But I would rather be happy, I would rather smile, I would rather believe in things unseen………than to accept life as just an empty cold scientific thing.

So as I sat there, 26 yrs old, knowing I should say something to lift up my friend, the words I spoke came from the depths of my heart and I said “If 26 years ago, God had said “I will give you a son, but you can only have him for 26 yrs, or you can have no son at all.” what would you have said in return.”  With a shakey little smile she replied, “I would have said, “If 26 yrs is all I can have, then I will gladly take every minute of every hour, for 26 yrs.”

And with that both of our hearts where no longer silent, but full of love in the middle of loss, because no matter what, that’s how love works………in the middle of the pain, it makes the weak become strong.